[On the list of things he didn't think would have been comforting? Gentle horn rubs. Honestly, any kind of content probably would have done it for him, but he really appreciates the gentleness that comes from what could have easily been a brusque gesture. It's just another thing to admire about Pure Vanilla — even his sharp edges could be utilized for grace and kindness.]

Now? [He glances up, then quickly back down at the ground. There are some very distracting blades of grass down there, thank you.]

Miserable, honest. I mean - better, now that you're here but...

[He takes a deep breath, and somehow that's his downfall. It's the straw that broke the dam or whatever, and suddenly it all comes pouring out.]

I think Nick and I broke up. I know we always fight but he's never been this explicit about it. He wants a break because I said I can't trust him anymore, and I can't! He didn't tell me that Zazie told him that JuLai would be destroyed. That I destroyed JuLai. That I killed millions of people. I know he was just trying to protect me but - but if he never told me, I would have never known and just... gone back there. People would have died anyway, right? And this is on top of the fact that I feel like I can't even touch him, because I'm so scared I'm going to make him into a monster like me. Livio, too, but at least he and I have barely even kissed, y'know? And - and -

[He makes an absolutely pitiful, and perhaps even borderline comedic, keening sound, before he hangs his head.]

And you probably don't even want to hear this.