[He is. He hopes he is, anyway. But where to start is the question...
He glances down at the bottle in his hand, watching the way the clear liquor sloshes around when he tilts it this way or that. Vash was exactly right, he bought this because he needed something from home to ground him or he was going to actually go insane. Funny how that gets you when your whole continued existence is thrown into question.]
I've thought a lot about what was said. And what we know, now.
[Vash knows, of course. He doubts it needs to be rehashed, especially when they don't know enough intimate details to go over it necessarily.]
I was convinced that knowin' the future really does you nothin' but bad. And I'm still pretty sure I believe that.
[Because you can't deny that knowing what they know now has changed them fundamentally as people. They will never be the same as they were before they knew about JuLai. About Wolfwood's death. About Nai's plans, or Legato's, or anything they were told.]
...but you're my partner. And I shoulda'...been honest with you.
[He glances off to the side, like he's having trouble meeting Vash's eyes as he says this.]
It really fuckin' scared me when Zazie told me, Vash. I couldn't even fathom that bein' possible, despite livin' on the planet when Jenora Rock had happened, too. Maybe...
[...]
Maybe I just wanted to believe it couldn't happen twice. Not to you. Not to the guy whose been fightin' harder than everyone else to save the world.
no subject
He glances down at the bottle in his hand, watching the way the clear liquor sloshes around when he tilts it this way or that. Vash was exactly right, he bought this because he needed something from home to ground him or he was going to actually go insane. Funny how that gets you when your whole continued existence is thrown into question.]
I've thought a lot about what was said. And what we know, now.
[Vash knows, of course. He doubts it needs to be rehashed, especially when they don't know enough intimate details to go over it necessarily.]
I was convinced that knowin' the future really does you nothin' but bad. And I'm still pretty sure I believe that.
[Because you can't deny that knowing what they know now has changed them fundamentally as people. They will never be the same as they were before they knew about JuLai. About Wolfwood's death. About Nai's plans, or Legato's, or anything they were told.]
...but you're my partner. And I shoulda'...been honest with you.
[He glances off to the side, like he's having trouble meeting Vash's eyes as he says this.]
It really fuckin' scared me when Zazie told me, Vash. I couldn't even fathom that bein' possible, despite livin' on the planet when Jenora Rock had happened, too. Maybe...
[...]
Maybe I just wanted to believe it couldn't happen twice. Not to you. Not to the guy whose been fightin' harder than everyone else to save the world.
It wouldn't be fair.