oleaeuropaea: (Is Bowed Into Millions of Tears)
oleaeuropaea ([personal profile] oleaeuropaea) wrote2023-07-01 03:00 pm

[Ryslig] INBOX

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NEEDLENOGGIN

FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55

*** NEEDLENOGGIN has joined 018.07.154.55
<needlenoggin>hiiiii you've reached vash!.
<needlenoggin> i'm probably sleeping or eating right now so leave something for me and i'll get back to it!
purevanillacookie: (109)

<purevanilla>

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-25 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[This message is sent the day after the event ends. After Pure Vanilla wakes up and has horrible memories of a dream like quality that he, nonetheless, feels is real. His hands, colored in crimson, digging into Vash. Settling around his throat.]

My friend, forgive me if this message is unwanted, but I have... memories, of the last week. I am unsure if they are real, they feel like a dream almost, but they cling in a manner that tells me they are not.

I fear I hurt you. Terribly so. I

May I speak with you? Someplace public, over coffee or tea. I would like to ascertain you are all right. If. Ah. If you would allow it.
Edited 2023-09-25 15:22 (UTC)
purevanillacookie: (041)

<purevanilla>

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-25 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[For a moment, the silence seems to confirm that Vash would rather avoid him. Then the message comes in, and it's enough to lift a tiny weight off him. It also touches his heart that Vash had the exact same idea as Pure Vanilla. A public place, in case the other felt uncomfortable being alone. It makes him smile, even if its a touch sad.]

Private then. I trust you, and I am glad you trust me, despite

[He lifts his finger from the speech to text button. Despite his fingers digging into the body beneath him. He feels ill.]

Do you know the Grapevine? It is my residence and my room is quite private. Sparkling Cookie will be asleep until night time, and will not bother us, and Clotted Cream Cookie has his room in the basement. It should only be us. If this is all right?
purevanillacookie: (116)

<purevanilla> - action

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-26 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
There's the back entrance. I will be waiting for you.

And no, my friend, please. You never harmed me. I will meet you when you arrive.


[Text can't catch the hitch in Pure Vanillas voice.

And true to his word, when Vash shows up, Pure Vanilla will be sitting outside the back entrance. He's wearing a thick sweater to stave off some of the chill of the September morning, and his fingers are nervously plucking at the fibers.

He looks different, as well. His hair is paler, no longer burnt at the ends, and the faint clinging scent of burnt vanilla has faded to a softer scent. Just normal vanilla, woven in with him. His ears flick back and forth, swiveling to pick up the sound of the others approach.]
purevanillacookie: (gen03)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-26 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
[He doesn't get to his feet until the voice reaches his ears, unsure if the person approaching was Vash or not. There's relief on his face, half that he showed up and half that he sounds fine (if a little uncertain). It sounds like the other is bundled, even more so than before, and understands it.

His own robes have returned to normal, but he doesn't know that. He's stashed them in the back of his closet, loathe to touch them.]


Yes... Pure Vanilla Cookie. You're... Vash, correct?

[A name in the memory. Spilling from his own lips as he cajoles the other into screaming. He exhales, hard, and his expression tightens a little. There's a lot he wants to say, but Vash requested privacy. He turns a little to open the back door.]

Please, come inside.

[He begins to hold out his hand, the gesture familiar from their last encounter, muscle memory. Then falters mid-way, letting it drop, unsure if he should, before stepping aside to let Vash into the door.]
purevanillacookie: (105)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-26 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[The way Vash's clothes shuffled before, when he extended his hand, has him silent for a moment, as he closes the door behind them. The words from the other wash over him like they're incomprehensible. And maybe, to Pure Vanilla, they are. Because he simply can't imagine Vash apologizing to him.]

Oh... my friend, no.

[Impulsively he reaches out again, his hand blinding seeking Vash's until he can find one to take hold of. He gives it a tight squeeze, then uses it to lead the other up the back stairways to the second floor.]

You do not need to apologize, though I know your heart will not let it rest until you have.

[Because they're the same, and Pure Vanillas heart aches in the need to beg for forgiveness.]

These events that this world puts us through warps us to our very core. And sometimes there is simply no manner in which to fight it.

[The walk down the second floor hallway is quick, before he stops in front of a door. Twisting the handle, he pushes it open, then quickly sticks his leg in the way to prevent a small cakepup from barging out. The tiny thing barges into his leg, grabs a mouthful of wool to yank it vigorously back and forth, then turn and run off, giving Pure Vanilla room to open the door the rest of the way and usher Vash in.

The apartment is rather sparsely furnished, due to Pure Vanilla not needing a lot of things due to his sight, but what he does have looks comfortable and obviously made for relaxing. A couch with thick cushions, an equally squishy looking chair which the cakepup is currently standing in, a toy clamped in his tiny mouth, his eyes fixed on Vash as his tail wags away. A record slash radio player, a desk scattered with books and papers. But mostly? Plants. Herbs of various types. Most of them are medicinal, or used for teas. The only few that stand out are orchids with a center that looks suspiciously like a closed eye, and a ... well. Tubers that look like mandragoras if mandragoras could look entirely too pleased about being fat and healthy in their pots.]


Please... sit. Make yourself comfortable. We can talk at length once you have made yourself at home. Would you like something to drink? Please excuse Lavender, he loves people.
purevanillacookie: (075)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-27 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
[It's easy to track the other as he takes his shoes off - which earns him a smile - and sits. The couch.]

Tea it is. Please, give me a moment.

[Something... soothing, he thinks. Chamomile and lavender. He moves into the small adjoining kitchen to begin doing just that. Lavender, the cakepup, meanwhile, decides instead of sniffing Vash's fingers - after flopping off the chair and scrambling up onto the couch to investigate the new person - to ram his head right into them. The headbutt is vicious but it doesn't seem to do any damage to his icing.

Then he drops the toy and begins to frantically try to lick the fingers, going into a full body wiggle wag, before flopping onto his side and rolling onto his back. Scratches. He demands it. Look how cute he is? He will whine if you do not.

At least Pure Vanilla won't leave Vash subjected to the whims of the puppy for long, the scent of chamomile and lavender growing strong while Lavender entertains their guest, and soon Pure Vanilla returns with a tray with two cups and a tea kettle. He sets it on the coffee table, before reaching out to pick the pup up so he can sit down in his place. Puppy in lap, he pours them tea, gesturing to the additions.]


Milk. Sugar. Salt, if you've got a mineral craving. [Like Pure Vanilla does. Ah, to be a sheep.] And the small bottle is... ah, gin. In case you'd like something stronger.

[His voice is wry because he understands what they're about to discuss is going to be rough.]
purevanillacookie: (087)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-27 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh, don't worry. Being held wont stop the pup for long. The moment there's a lapse in Pure Vanilla's hold on him, he promptly darts over to Vash again. Shoves himself onto his lap. Tries to stick his head into his tea cup. Syrupy tongue going a mile a minute. And he does it as quietly as he can so Pure Vanilla can't scold him.

Which doesn't work as Pure Vanilla makes a noise and Lavender flops dramatically against the Faerie. Fine. He will lay here and grow mold!!

The clink of the bottle makes him huff the softest laugh. Yeah. He figured. For himself, he doesn't yet, instead picking up a few salt cubes to dissolve into his tea.

And the statement makes his brow furrow.]


I... [Hm. He cradles his cup with his hands.] I know you will disagree you deserve it, because I feel the same way and I believe we are two similar hearts about certain topics, but I must apologize. I only vaguely recall what I did to you, but I recall enough to know I hurt you terribly. That... that is not me. I love, yes, but to harm someone...!

[His fingers tighten, the cup creaking a little dangerously under them.]

I cannot even hunt to feed myself...

[He sounds close to tears. Lavender whines and scoots over to lick at his elbow, getting a hand down to pet him.]
purevanillacookie: (096)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-27 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
[The question makes him shake his head, reiterating his words silently. He listens as Vash describes his own experience with hunting and the hunger. And they're alike there, as well. Feeding bit by bit. Luckily for Pure Vanilla his needs are meat, and though he only takes from the food banks what he needs to quiet the rising frenzy, he never takes more than that.]

This place...

[He sighs, lowering his cup to reach out, fingers gliding along the tray until he finds the small liquor bottle. The amount of gin he adds is only a small bit - he's horrible with holding his alcohol - before he puts it aside, sips his drink. Lets the steam from the tea bath his face.]

I am a healer... From love brings growth, renewal. I shield those around me. I vowed to make lives better for everyone, to ease their pains... Not cause them.

[Lavender looks between the two, sensing the solemn mood, and gets up to fetch his toy. It squeaks ridiculously as he jumps back up, to deposit it on top of Vash's foot, then lay his head on top of it. Comfort.]

I eat from the food bank. When the urge to hunt becomes overwhelming, I seek out a farm at the end of the city and... and headbutt the farmer into the ditch. Then free his sheep, and run off.

[He sounds ashamed a little, his cheeks red. He's never told anyone that.]

I have only killed once, before this event. The Fog Gods followers were free from their town, and like ghosts, were passing through us. They caused many of us to frenzy. But even then... the death was quick.

[Claws to the throat, opening the jugular. Not the faint memory of screaming and begging, while mushrooms grew around them.]

This world is built on misery, and forces us to be our worst selves... and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're caught up in it, that you walked a similar path as I, and were forced to break your vow. I understand how it feels, and I wish I could take it back for you, my friend.
purevanillacookie: (042)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-27 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
[The moment he hears the jitter of the teacup against metal, he sets his own down to reach out. Gently, carefully, he takes the metal hand in his. Holds it with both to steady it, offer Vash reassurance.

And he's quiet as he listens to Vash explain something horrible happened because of him, his expression non-judgemental. Just sad.]


But you already are. The moment you looked upon what had happened, and said "I want to be better". And then you kept to it, did you not? You said you vowed to never take another life again. You may not see it, it is truly hardest to look at ourselves and see the good around what we believe to be flaws, but I feel you have lived up to it.

[He won't ask if Vash caused it deliberately, accidentally, or simply by existing. He refuses to judge someone. Instead he offers Vash a smile, an actual true smile, untainted with the twisted love of before.]

I do not know your entire story, I will not judge what this place made you do, but if your love was so complete that in this worlds way, taking them out of it to spare them misery was the only thing it made you do... Then I think you are a better person. More than you think.

[He didn't dig his fingers into someone, peel them open like grotesque candy wrappers, all while decrying that their pain was right and just if they wanted peace.]
purevanillacookie: (091)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-27 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[Silence as Pure Vanilla listens, his heart aching for the other. Unfortunately, Vash is right. There's no availing himself of the food bank, not with energy. Does he have a secondary mouth? That may help... he will ask about it later, suggest it. For now, he simply holds the metal and bone hand tight, attempting to help anchor Vash in some way.

The 'not what I expected' makes Pure Vanillas eyebrows raise a little, and he sighs softly.]


I am not surprised, I believe my alternate self was...

[He shakes his head, not finishing the thought. Forward. Vicious. Commanding. Everything Dark Enchantress is. He doesn't want to think of who that was. It's not him. Instead he focuses on Vash, his eyes finally opening in reflex, gold and blue staring uncannily at Vash, but also seeming to look through him, beyond him. As if he could still see to the heart of someone, to see the truth of them.]

It is never easy, and continuing on the path will be a struggle. But you have people around you to help — hands to hold, shoulders to lean on — when the path gets rocky. Do not be afraid if you stumble. It's not a failure, nor a setback. And there's no need to run, for it's not a race. And my friend - Vash. Forgive yourself. Please.
purevanillacookie: (042)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-28 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
[The squeeze and then the other hand joining in makes Pure Vanillas expression soften. He won't deny the other the comfort of touch. He spent time in a void, deprived of his senses for so many years... he knows what it feels like to yearn for anothers touch. So he shifts to wind his fingers in with Vash's, takes a tighter hold.]

You are, and that's all I can ask of you for now. And I'm proud of you for trying. Because indeed, I know how hard it is to forgive yourself when you feel you've failed... everyone.

[His kingdom in ruins, his citizens dead or fled. He wasn't there when they needed him the most. He failed them. He failed her. He failed-

He swallows and shakes his head, squeezing hands together lightly.]


But I promise you, the people around you will help you lift the weight a bit. Seek them when you need reassurance, when you need a reminder you're doing well. Don't hesitate to lean on them. On us.

[He knows he's a hypocrite.]
purevanillacookie: (043)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-28 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
[A lot in common, and once again Pure Vanilla is pulled back in thought to the ideal that this world calls to like beings. Similar worlds, similar hearts.

Vash offering the same to Pure Vanilla makes the Minotaurs smile blossom more. Something that seems like it's more familiar on his face than all his softer half smiles and unsure ones. Like the man is more at home beaming and laughing.

Maybe that tiny bit of gin is finally soaking into the lightweight, and relaxing him, as well.]


There is no need to thank me, but if you insist, then please accept my thanks as well. I promise, should I have a need, I shall call on you. And I agree. When I say my friend, I truly mean it. I'm afraid there is no shaking me once I have decided.

[Maybe he's decided they should no longer dwell on the past. It will haunt them, forever. He knows this, and he can speak of forgiving themselves all he wants, but late at night, when it's just them in their beds and they're trying to sleep. He knows the nightmares will come.

So he's going to focus on the here, the now, on making this moment as friendly and pleasant as possible. He squeezes Vash's hands, and aims the smile like a sunbeam at him. Steer the conversation away from pain.]


And since I have deemed you my friend, please tell me more about yourself!
purevanillacookie: (003)

[personal profile] purevanillacookie 2023-09-28 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
[Vash not being interesting makes Pure Vanilla hm! in disbelief. But it's a good-natured sound, and is accompanied with a small little tail wiggle. Feeling his hand be dropped, he's about to pull them both back when he realizes Vash is still holding onto the other. And since he's quite comfortable with the contact, he doesn't see any need to remove it. So he just makes his hand more comfortable, fingers folding in with Vash's.]

That isn't morbid in the least! A good friend of mine was quite skilled with a gun himself, as though my world is mostly peaceful, we still have to fight off monsters, so it's quite handy to know how to use weapons!

[Reaching out with his free hand, he finds his tea cup to bring it back up to his lips, angling himself as he does to be a little more body facing Vash. He ends up kneeing Lavender, causing the cakepup to awaken with a start and give them both the most scrunked look a cakepup can give. He hops down and waddles off to find someplace else to rest. Rude.]

Oh, your food is similar to this worlds! Unless your pizza happens to be sweet pizza? Tell me of your world, if you are all right speaking of it?

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