oleaeuropaea (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oleaeuropaea) wrote2023-07-01 03:00 pm
oleaeuropaea) wrote2023-07-01 03:00 pm
[Ryslig] INBOX
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NEEDLENOGGIN FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** NEEDLENOGGIN has joined 018.07.154.55 <needlenoggin>hiiiii you've reached vash!. <needlenoggin> i'm probably sleeping or eating right now so leave something for me and i'll get back to it! | ||||
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[Of all the analogies to make! Pure Vanillas steps wobble a little as well as he laughs, his expression half mortified and half amused.]
I am so sorry...! Right foot in against your left.
[He keeps their movements slow, letting Vash get used to the simple step slide step. It also keeps them both from dwelling too hard on any negative, not while they're half focused on moving.]
And nonsense, we are not arguing, we are having a discussion while we dance. Now step forward with your left, slide with your right.
[His ears slowly relax down into a contented flop. When was the last time he had danced? How long was his time in the Void? It's soothing, the motions familiar, the closeness something that he doesn't get when he leans in against Sparkling. In fact... Vash is the second person he's ever been this close with in quite some time.]
I do understand, however. [He wants to step in closer, but he restrains himself. Barely. There's a bit of a sway.] To blame yourself despite circumstances being out of your control... I said I was a King, once. A great enemy rose up and struck my Kingdom while I was away. She destroyed it, killed my subjects, and caused the others to flee. The guilt wore on me for years. I blamed myself for the loss of life, for the terror they were inflicted. It took me a long while, and with the help of some friends, to realize I cannot do that. I can mourn for the events that took place, but I cannot blame myself.
[And now he does sort of lean in, his forehead lightly tapping against Vash's in the softest headbutt. He originally means it as a show of camaraderie, of understanding, but he ends up letting it linger. Rests their foreheads together.]
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[And honestly, Vash's laugh is light. The earlier, flustered giddiness seems to be fading fast, but the warmth remains. He feels lighter than he has in years as they move. It's an unburdening of a different sort than the one they had experienced together previously — one without trauma or pain.]
I guess I'm just used to these things happening more messily. [Like when he and Wolfwood had argued in the midst of a gunfight. Or any of his fights with Nai. The people of No Man's Land, or at least the ones Vash associated with, weren't really good at expressing themselves.] It's nice to just... talk.
[Vash feels that sway and shifts his hand, clasping just a little as he tries to keep his partner steady on his feet. That hand remains there as he listens to Pure Vanilla's tale, something of a comforting gesture as he takes it in.
They really aren't that different.]
I'm sorry that you know that feeling too. But I guess I'm also glad that you found people to help you through it, too. [Maybe in time, Vash might find that same camaraderie.] But it wasn't your fault that someone came after your kingdom. For me, I — [His voice wavers.] I'm the one that put the ability to hurt those people into someone's hand. And even then, everywhere I go people wind up hurt, even when I try to -
[He trails off as their foreheads clunk together. He blinks several times, hardly processing what had just happened. All at once, he feels that same giddiness float back in. His stomach twists in a way that isn't entirely unpleasant, even as he frets over whether or not his glasses are in the way, or digging into his companion's forehead and -
Since when did his head spiral like this?
He doesn't say anything more, just reels in the proximity, and in the fact that he doesn't at all dislike this position.]
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No. No. Forgive me my bluntness, but you do not seem the type to deliberately hand someone the means to harm. I will not disagree that your life has been full of pain, but I must disagree that you are the cause of it. That you are the cause of the pain others feel.
[He strokes his thumb gently across the curve of Vash's cheek, sort of memorizing the shape of it as he does. Seeing it with his fingers. Trying to map his face out in his mind. But also to add a small bit of comfort.]
I do not need sight to see the heart of you. My own heart tells me more than my eyes ever will. We may have only just met, yet our similarities are enough that I know you.
[His voice is low as he speaks, a gentle murmur as they mingle breathe from the closeness.]
Let me help you realize this for yourself. You are not a Typhoon, that creates disaster wherever you go. You are a kind heart caught up in a typhoon, but not the typhoon itself.
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You - [He shouldn't laugh, not when they're sharing such a tender moment, but it bubbles up all the same. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to will himself to, for once in his life, not be a fool.] Jeez, you really know what to say, huh?
[They're so close right now. Closer, certainly, than Vash has been to anyone in as long as he can remember. He feels like a boy all over again, with a racing heart and a tangled tongue. His mind does his best to sour it, but for once its laid to rest by the kind words of another.]
It's funny, though. [His hand, one of flesh, lifts and comes to rest over Pure Vanilla's own. He relishes the warmth beneath his skin, thumb circling the back of his companions unconsciously. Part of him resolves to commit this to memory — so that he won't ever forget how it felt to feel so close to someone again. When was the last time it had even happened like this? It had to have been some decades, judging by how hot his face is getting. He hopes Pure Vanilla can't feel it.
Right, what was he saying?]
I don't think anyone's ever saw through me like that. You - you, ah - must be somethin' real special, Pure Vanilla.
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Being ancient has its perks, he has given life advice to more people than he can count.
Of course... never like this. Where, if he was so inclined, he could tilt his head just so- His thoughts stumble a little to a halt to the hand on his, the warmth sinking in, the thumb circling leaving an almost electric tingle behind. He inhales, and a part of him whispers that all it would take is to press forward. His ears can pick up the thrumming of Vash's heart, the way it races. Can Vash feel his own, from the touch on his hand?
Can he feel the way Pure Vanillas breathing hitches?
It's almost embarrassing, in a way. Pure Vanilla is old, and yet... he can't remember the last time he kissed someone.]
Ah?
[It takes him a moment to pull himself out of his thoughts, and his cheeks turn so dark it's a surprise he's able to keep standing from the rush of blood. He's flushed and flustered. What... what had Vash said? Ah. Special yes. He laughs a little, trying to regain his composure. He should pull back, yet every instinct yells at him to stay where he's at.]
I-I... Just ancient, with many years spent learning to understand... Nothing special at all.
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Vash stops his thoughts before they can wander too far.]
Iiii don't know about all of that, actually. [Now that he's not the only one stammering, he feels at least a little emboldened. Certainly brave enough to run his mouth just a little too long -] I've got a century and some change on me and I'm still sitting here bl-
[And then he clamps down on his tongue. Even if the flush of his cheeks was painfully obvious beneath Pure Vanilla's hand, he can't just outright admit to it. Yes, the man has been nothing but kind and gentle to him tonight, but surely even he has his limits. Vash stumbling over his words and admitting that he might be just a little smitten would end in disaster. Even thinking them to himself feels incredibly juvenile, the absolute worst thing Vash could say to someone who had just admitted to his years.
Some part of Vash's mind tries to defend itself. It points out the deep flush now painting Pure Vanilla's cheeks. BUt he shoots back, just as quick, that both he and Pure vanilla had been drinking. They were both bound to be a little overheated.
That's all it is. Nothing more.]
I'm just bein' a fool, that's all.
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Yes, surely that.
Though he can't stop the soft huff to Vash putting himself down again. He opens his mouth to tell him he's not, that he's obviously blushing too- but before he can get words out, Lavender decides to take that moment to bark at them both, loudly. He is not happy when it is not about him. Plus, he may be hungry. Pure Vanilla lets out the softest bleat in surprise, pulling back as his ears flip around until he finds where his cakepup is, before exhaling hard.]
Oh... I completely lost track of the time. Forgive me, I will need to feed him and take him out on his walk.
[There's obvious reluctance as Pure Vanilla pulls back, his fingers trailing as he pulls his hands free. His head spins and he feels he should lay down, or take a cold shower. Or both. For a moment he scrubs his face, trying to wipe the embarrassment away, and get back on track to what they were doing. He will not think about Vash's hand on his. He will not.]
That was a good first attempt for dancing, as well! I must insist you come back again, and we can continue on.
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Aw, I apologize for distracting him so much, Lavender! I hate missing meals too!
[His laugh is warm, if still a bit pitched up at the edges thanks to his giddiness. Nevertheless, he does take a reluctant step back from Pure Vanilla, allowing him some space. The hand on Pure Vanilla's lingers, though, gently coaxing his companion's limb back downward. He twines their fingers together one last time, before giving his hand a squeeze.]
I should probably get back, anyway. [He wants to say that he shouldn't overstay his welcome, but he's almost certain how that reply will be received.] I don't want to disrupt any routines the two of you have.
[Why does he feel so reluctant to go, though? There's almost a sense of disappointment welling up in his chest. He doesn't begrudge the little creature for his needs, but perhaps if he just had a few more seconds -
The thought is pushed down just as quickly as it came on. He'll examine it later, once he has a clear head. For now, he releases Pure Vanilla's hand and takes a step back.]
I really appreciate it. Everything, I mean. It was nice. And dancing was - [He clears his throat.] I had a good time. And I'd love to do it again.
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It's the same feeling, all those years ago, when he first met White Lily Cookie.
With his hands free, he fiddles with his nails, picking at them lightly as he just sort of stands there, trying to sort through his thoughts and feelings. Lavender huffs, then throws his head back dramatically and howls, making Pure Vanilla shake himself lightly and laugh.]
You are not starving.
[Still, it's broken him out of his reverie and he throws a brilliant smile towards Vash.]
Of course, I will contact you later to set up something? And please do feel free to come back whenever you would like! My door is always open for you.
[Moving around, he pats around until he can find where Vash folded his coat and placed it aside, picking it up and bringing it over to him, and walk with him to the door, so Vash can get his shoes on as well.]
I... [And there, at the door, he falters a little.] I do hope I get to see you again?
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Even if it does allow Vash's more sinister thoughts to creep in. There's a whisper in the back of his mind about how he shouldn't have allowed any of this to happen. That despite Pure Vanilla's assurances, he was a poison upon those he cared about. That Pure Vanilla would only get hurt.
He tries to push them toward the back of his head, to focus simply on preparing to leave. And maybe that would have worked for him, if it weren't for the fact that he dares to glance at his companion. That he just so happens to chance a glance upon that brilliant smile, and Vash effectively trips on his own feet. He stumbles into the couch, and only barely manages to clamp down on the inside of his cheek to keep from hissing to himself.
Hopefully he hasn't drawn any attention to himself.
Once he rights himself, it's just a matter of making his way over to the door that Pure Vanilla has moved back toward. He kneels down to throw on his boots, a bit too hasty to be sure that they're properly tied.]
I appreciate it, really! [He pushes himself back to his feet, keen to swiftly make his exit and start trying to make sense of the thoughts swirling in his head.
Only once again, Pure Vanilla sees through every wall Vash has tried to put up. He's silent for a few seconds, considering that question. He knows that he should say no. They would both be better off for it. But before his brain can really process that thought, his mouth has already opened.]
Of course. I want to see you again. Really!
[He hates that it's the truth.]
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It takes a lot not to use Vash's coat to hide his own face.
Instead he waits as he listens to Vash get his boots on, then hands the jacket over when he straightens, and the silence after his question pulls a little on his heart. Until the answer comes and he can tell Vash isn't simply trying to placate him. Which he would be very well within his right to do, things had most certainly gotten out of hand a little.
But he can't stop the happy expression from blossoming.]
I'm glad. I truly wish to see you again as well.
[Opening the door, he will let Vash step out, before reaching out to take his hand to stop him. As the kids would say, fuck it. He'll scream about it later, but he steps in close, raising his free hand to touch Vash's chin, so he can know where to lean in and place a small kiss on his cheek, being absurdly careful not to get him with his horns any. It's just a gently brush, and a little closer to Vash's lips than he was aiming for but, he's blind. Sue him.
When he pulls back, he's back to blushing.]
I will see you later...
[And he tries not to slam the door in Vash's face but he does step back quickly to close it so he CAN run to the bedroom...]
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He doesn't. Instead his lips part as if trying to silently coax the minotaur toward them. It's the only way he can explain the faint disappointment that courses through him when those lips alight on his cheek. It lasts only a second, before a fresh, giddy thrill crackles from his face down to the tips of his toes.]
Oh- ah- [His cheeks had only just started to cool down, only to have the flame kindled anew. He isn't complaining, even if part of him thinks to ask for more. To catch the door before it can close and ask to spend the night. He's been alone for so long, deserves to spend the night with someone who understands him.
The more sensible part of his brain stops him in his tracks. That part of him forces his feet backward, dragging him out of Pure Vanilla's proximity before either of them can make a bad call.]
Haha. Yeah! Right! Later! Uh huh - [He winces as he stumbles right back into the wall, wings bending just a little uncomfortably against the surface behind him. He sidesteps and just barely avoids tripping over himself yet again. Only then does he seem to find his footing, promptly powerwalking down the hall before offering one last:]
Have a good night, Pure Vanilla.
[Then he dashes down the stairs before he can make any more of a fool of himself.]